Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the disease deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I process things in another way, and when I have the information, it's easier," he continued.
Early Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the issue, a number of scans indicated neural pathways in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately quite moved about it, but it's quite odd because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't sense poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I remain competent to accomplishing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
According to the organization MND Association, the illness kills a 33% of people within a 365 days and above half within 24 months of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Therapy can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody said.
"We were seated on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody stated the emphasis was staying in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just embracing and appreciating all aspects now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much time with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Player Association
Elite sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with research indicating the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the air available and causing damage to motor neurone cells, consistent, intense training can trigger the disease in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a tackle pad and commenced participating in collisions.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the decisive phase of play, creating a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other previous colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the minute, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a wonderful family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"To have done it for so long a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will desire to assist in every way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
